SlutPride

There's this thing called SlutWalk Houston that I plan on attending in July. It's happening about three blocks away from my house in the Cherryhurst neighborhood and that's why I'm going. If it was four blocks away I wouldn't bother.  This idea started in Toronto when the Police Force's view of sexual assault is "women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized." The idea is to condemn a victim blaming culture and to push the fact that sexual assault is never justified and the victims are never at fault.

My husband's sister lives only one block away so I called and asked if she wanted to join me.

"Is that where you wear old make-up and club clothes from the night before?" she asked.

"Well, I was thinking I'd wear an over-sized t-shir t with pit stains and mens boxers carrying my panties in my purse and just hang around waiting for a cab. But whatever "slut" means to you."

I never actually had to take a cab home. I usually had my prolonged awkward shame in the passenger seat of his car as I was driven back to my own car or my mom's apartment. Move over, mommy. Dianne needs coffee. And luckily, that only happened once. I was in two 5-year relationships almost back-to-back before I met my husband and actually dated a few guys in-between. The one-night-stand felt a little too dirty to turn into a habit.

But I do like to pretend to be slutty. It's fun. I also like to pretend I'm a lesbian during Gay Pride weekend (which is happening this weekend, by the way). I don't make-out with other chicks or anything , but if I see a hot butch staring at me I smile and offer a carrot to the unicorn she's riding because there's NO SUCH THING as a hot butch lesbian! What did you think I was going to say?

My lunch hour is over and I need to get back to work. That's good because I didn't know how to wrap this up anyway. Usually when I want to end a conversation I get put on an uncomfortable face, apologize and tell the person I really need to go to the restroom.


Eeeesh. Ahhhh. I gotta go pee. Sorry.